I OFFER MY SINCERE APOLOGIES FOR NOT UPDATING MY BLOG FOR A WHILE, IVE BEEN REALLY BUSY,HOWEVER,MY GIRL EXE ,CAME UP WITH THIS VERY TOPICAL ISSUE THAT HAS BEEN AGOG FOR A WHILE..
VERY INTENSE,ARTICULATE AND THOUGHTFUL WRITE-UP..PLEASE CHECK IT OUT
It comes up time and time again. I will be discussing sex and attitudes to sex and social stigma associated with women in particular.
I am sure we have all heard, seen or been part of the usual story. Woman and man meet, they have sex, he is a stud, now the woman is forever labelled a slut.
There are many things happening here in regards to the roles enforced in women in relation to sex and the consequences that may ensue if heaven forbid she decides to have sex outside of losing her virginity and then staying with that man for life. Why in the 21st century are women still accosted for having sex whilst men are revered and given a high five for getting a bit. I shall call it the stud vs slut dichotomy.
To understand a little bit of what is going on here I will refer an amazing women called Anne Summers wrote a book called “Damned whores and God’s police”. This book is an exploration of the options women have in relation to the type of woman she can be in the eyes of man. So she is either a god fearing, respectable only slept with her husband after marriage type of woman (this is the type of woman men want for their wives) and there is the promiscuous woman who sleeps around, seen to have no morals and only good for sleeping with (this woman is not marriage material). Women who fit the former description tend to be considered worthy of marriage, they play the social game, accept patriarchal constructions of the limits of her gender and she ‘knows her place’. The later category of women I mentioned are to be fucked because that is their only function it seems. What is funny here is that although men marry the god’s police, they certainly have no problem sleeping with the damned whores. But when they do sleep with the damned whores it is the damned whores who face social suicide in the community, whilst the man keeps looking for a god’s police to call his own.
The double standards and rigid gendered socialisation of sexuality here are glaringly obvious. Why is morality inherently linked to sexual activity and why is that sexuality activity condemned in women whilst celebrated in men. The sexual revolution of the second wave feminist movements started a path on the way to women being sexual free, to women’s sexuality been seen as her own and not a man’s domain to have a woman whenever he wanted her. Yet still, if a woman sleeps around she is deemed a slut not to be taken seriously. Morality has nothing to do with consensual sexual activity (note consensual) there is no inherent right or wrong in regards to consensual sexual activity. The only right and wrong that exists is those that place their own constructed ideas of right and wrong in the social arena. The only right and wrong are the social consequences for women who decide that they like sex.
I am a feminist, yet I am not anti sex. However I am anti sex when women are treated like sexual objects to be slept with and then have her name dragged through mud. It is ok to have sex outside of relationships. It is not ok to treat women like a joy ride and then gossip, belittle and condemn her actions when men are part of that action also. The key here is RESPECT! Why on earth would you have intimate relations with someone and then degrade them for sleeping with you. Come on fellas this doesn’t make sense. Shame on you for fucking someone you call a slut, shame on you for not realising it is a reflection of the lack of respect you have not only for yourself but women. To all the women that degrade other women for having sex, you are playing a part in the sexual oppression of your sisters. What has it got to do with anyone who someone sleeps with? Why do the sexual moral police feel they have the right to enforce their own personal views of sex onto people who have chosen to not live by the code they adhere to? Sorry people but it is all one big contradiction and the sooner you realise this the sooner we can maybe work towards the true sexual revolution that practice safe, consensual sex with respect understanding and orgasms.
Contributions and comments are welcome..
Shout out to EXE for keeping the blog going...
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